One of the ads you scanned, Gene, was for Barre Granite. The town of Barre, VT, has a cemetery that is a testament to the skill of its stonecarvers. There one can see a headstone carved in the shape of an easy chair, a headboard with a loving couple gazing at each other while their bodies rest below, an airplane sailing through the clouds, and other amazing representations of the stonecarvers' craft. It's an amazing place to visit if you ever get the chance.
Stones have been mandated flat in our cemetery for a many, many years due to increased cost of maintenance. Easier to rider mow over everything than to hand cut weeds around each stone....purely a $ thing...has nothing to do with values other than that.
I'm sorry for your loss Gene. I'm glad you took the time to go back and visit the past. Your a better person for doing it IMHO.
The Sears catalog looks like it says "We Pay Freight". I can't imagine buying one of these at Amazon.com now (the modern Sears catalog) and qualifying for free shipping. :-)
My wife worked in the funeral industry for a few years. The flat markers are usually sign of people not having a great deal of money for a marker. Granite isn't as cheap as it used to be. That being said most people don't realize that modern funeral expenses are negotiable. Many people are not in that state of mind when dealing with the passing of a loved one. And the funeral homes clean up on that stuff. Even the markup on vessels for cremated loved ones is amazing. Do yourself a favor and make you arrangements in advance and negotiate before it's an emotional decision.
As you were able to realize, the stone is not for you but rather everyone else. For some, its the open gateway to reflection on memories and yet to others its a finality. It's one of those things that means something different to everyone while simultaneously meaning the same: whatever the connection, it now can only be experienced looking backwards. And to your title, no size of the stone is in no way a character indicator. If it were, my moms would have touched the stars...
Gene - We have such a different view of it all here. Burials in New Orleans used to be above ground because the water table is so high, and even now the custom continues. There are cemeteries all around town, tucked away here and there - there is even one across the street from the world-famous Commander's Palace restaurant. "In the midst of life we are in death" - and that doesn't stop us from having that next martini at Commander's or jumping for beads at the parades. But then we play jazz music at funerals too -- guess we're off the chart as far as the whole death thing goes.
I agree with you about cremation. In fact I've bored my kids to death (no pun intended) with all the places I want to be scattered. "Jeez, mom, make a list and write it down, already!"
I would like one small amount scattered next to a tomb I can see from the upper floors of the university where I work. Five generations of family members rest there, it's near City Park, mere yards away from the Fairgrounds where Jazzfest is held, and a block away from my first apartment. Nice. But water, wind, and time are erasing the genealogy carved into blue Georgia marble on the front of it. I guess the Rock of Ages people use tougher stuff. - Kathy
I agree about cremation, but as you discovered with your mom & sister, cemetery markers are for the living - those left behind when you die. If you really don't want one, you might want to come up with another "marker" that your friends & relatives can use to gather around to remember you.
I'm not being facetious here, but are there any forms of commemoration on the web intended to directly substitute or augment traditional graves or monuments? There must be...but I haven't noticed any yet.
Cemeteries would have a far better use as parks or natural landscapes, rather than acres of neglected and forgotten stone tributes. Cremate and scatter, and be green.
Honor your family while they live instead of celebrating your guilt when they're gone.
I agree with you about cremation. In fact I've bored my kids to death (no pun intended) with all the places I want to be scattered. "Jeez, mom, make a list and write it down, already!"
I would like one small amount scattered next to a tomb I can see from the upper floors of the university where I work. Five generations of family members rest there, it's near City Park, mere yards away from the Fairgrounds where Jazzfest is held, and a block away from my first apartment. Nice. But water, wind, and time are erasing the genealogy carved into blue Georgia marble on the front of it. sesli sohbetsesli chat
Barre, VT, cemetery a sight to behold
One of the ads you scanned, Gene, was for Barre Granite. The town of Barre, VT, has a cemetery that is a testament to the skill of its stonecarvers. There one can see a headstone carved in the shape of an easy chair, a headboard with a loving couple gazing at each other while their bodies rest below, an airplane sailing through the clouds, and other amazing representations of the stonecarvers' craft. It's an amazing place to visit if you ever get the chance.
flat gravestones
Stones have been mandated flat in our cemetery for a many, many years due to increased cost of maintenance. Easier to rider mow over everything than to hand cut weeds around each stone....purely a $ thing...has nothing to do with values other than that.
a by gone age
I'm sorry for your loss Gene. I'm glad you took the time to go back and visit the past. Your a better person for doing it IMHO.
The Sears catalog looks like it says "We Pay Freight". I can't imagine buying one of these at Amazon.com now (the modern Sears catalog) and qualifying for free shipping. :-)
My wife worked in the funeral industry for a few years. The flat markers are usually sign of people not having a great deal of money for a marker. Granite isn't as cheap as it used to be. That being said most people don't realize that modern funeral expenses are negotiable. Many people are not in that state of mind when dealing with the passing of a loved one. And the funeral homes clean up on that stuff. Even the markup on vessels for cremated loved ones is amazing. Do yourself a favor and make you arrangements in advance and negotiate before it's an emotional decision.
As you were able to realize,
As you were able to realize, the stone is not for you but rather everyone else. For some, its the open gateway to reflection on memories and yet to others its a finality. It's one of those things that means something different to everyone while simultaneously meaning the same: whatever the connection, it now can only be experienced looking backwards. And to your title, no size of the stone is in no way a character indicator. If it were, my moms would have touched the stars...
re New Orleans tombs
Gene - We have such a different view of it all here. Burials in New Orleans used to be above ground because the water table is so high, and even now the custom continues. There are cemeteries all around town, tucked away here and there - there is even one across the street from the world-famous Commander's Palace restaurant. "In the midst of life we are in death" - and that doesn't stop us from having that next martini at Commander's or jumping for beads at the parades. But then we play jazz music at funerals too -- guess we're off the chart as far as the whole death thing goes.
I agree with you about cremation. In fact I've bored my kids to death (no pun intended) with all the places I want to be scattered. "Jeez, mom, make a list and write it down, already!"
I would like one small amount scattered next to a tomb I can see from the upper floors of the university where I work. Five generations of family members rest there, it's near City Park, mere yards away from the Fairgrounds where Jazzfest is held, and a block away from my first apartment. Nice. But water, wind, and time are erasing the genealogy carved into blue Georgia marble on the front of it. I guess the Rock of Ages people use tougher stuff. - Kathy
Cemetery Monuments
I agree about cremation, but as you discovered with your mom & sister, cemetery markers are for the living - those left behind when you die. If you really don't want one, you might want to come up with another "marker" that your friends & relatives can use to gather around to remember you.
Thanks again
...for a wonderful column Gene. I really do enjoy reading them week after week.
Sears advertisment
Note that the lettering on the two bottom illustrations fails to get the perspective of the inscriptions anywhere near right.
Digital grave markers?
I'm not being facetious here, but are there any forms of commemoration on the web intended to directly substitute or augment traditional graves or monuments? There must be...but I haven't noticed any yet.
Waste of Resources
Cemeteries would have a far better use as parks or natural landscapes, rather than acres of neglected and forgotten stone tributes. Cremate and scatter, and be green.
Honor your family while they live instead of celebrating your guilt when they're gone.
I agree with you about
I agree with you about cremation. In fact I've bored my kids to death (no pun intended) with all the places I want to be scattered. "Jeez, mom, make a list and write it down, already!"
I would like one small amount scattered next to a tomb I can see from the upper floors of the university where I work. Five generations of family members rest there, it's near City Park, mere yards away from the Fairgrounds where Jazzfest is held, and a block away from my first apartment. Nice. But water, wind, and time are erasing the genealogy carved into blue Georgia marble on the front of it.
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